State of the World  (discretion advised)

I just have to tell you... something has hit home this week with me.  And that's that I think we're in a very different place, just recently, than we've ever been in before.  At least, I just seem to have got hit with it broadside, which means that - at least for me - we've hit a milestone.

And what's hit me is that right now, it feels like people have never had more knowledge.  Never has it been at our fingertips like it is, today.  But more than that, it's suddenly 'unleashed'... unlike ten years ago when the Internet first linked all information and people to each other.  Then there seemed to still be a certain amount of reservation, or sense of propriety out there.  But suddenly it's like the WHOLE WORLD has just stopped holding back, and knowledge is completely unbridled and available.

An example: We were at dance class on Wednesday, and I always bring our K'nooks (Lydia's and mine) and my cellphone (which has little games on it) for the boys to play while they're waiting for Lydia's class to wrap up.  And while sitting with them, I picked up a teen magazine, because I recognized the girl on the front (Anna-Sophia Robb) as the little girl from "Race to Witch Mountain"... only she's now a skanky teenager in clothing Madonna once was demonized for showing up in, hello.  It was really tacky, t'boot.  (Here.  I found you a picture of it.  The outfits she had on inside were even worse.)

Anyhow, I open the magazine, and thumb thru looking at really freaky pictures (I guess the 'Hunger Games' had more of an impact on society than I thought, because everyone is styling like that freaky Elizabeth Banks character, Effie, where make-up is concerned, anymore.  These girls look like what used to be aliens in movies).  And I get to a page with actual WORDS on it, and the first column is a three paragraph thing about how awesome it is for girls to masterbate.  Hell, I didn't even know girls COULD masterbate until I was almost thirty, for pete's sake!  I thought it was for pubescent teenage boys and wasn't even sure it wasn't sinful, truth be told.  You didn't TALK about that, ever!  Then the article directly under it was called "My boyfriend's Blue-Balls".  I kid you not.   I snapped the magazine shut and tried to pick my jaw up off the floor.

Now... I'm way more open-minded than I used to be.  I got a slow start in the world of... that kind of knowledge, but c'mon!  Should we be giving our teens magazines like THAT?!  I'm just saying... when I was an adolescent, I had a subscription to Teen magazine for three years.  I learned how to do a french braid, what new TV show was cute, signed up for my penpal, and voted for who should be Miss Teen 1987.  It was about the emergence of twin set cardigans and how periwinkle was the new summer shade.

It was NOT about sex, not blatant and unapologetic and so... so... lewd.  It's almost like nothing is special or sacred anymore.  And it's the same on-line... there are articles that literally make my eyes boggle on a daily basis... it's stunning how no topic is off-limits or private, no subject is kept from being contorted into something base and... it just feels dirty.

Last night, I picked up my latest novel, to start it.  It was something different - it was a futuristic mercenary dystopian chick traveling back in time to Regency England to stop an old text from being written (that will start the end of the world, at a later time).    I thought it sounded interesting - like Blade Runner meets Pride & Prejudice.  Except that it wasn't.  By page ten we were dealing with succubus and spawn of hell, using summoning totems and chanting, and by page twenty the Regency dude is conjuring, and its describing in graphic detail how the erotic influences of his evoking majick are affecting his cock. 

Forgive me, but... Yikes.  I had to get rid of it... I don't NEED that kind of thing.  From my point of view, her future rebellion and his past majick are BOTH the losing team, and only the one *I* serve wins in the end, and I don't see the point of wasting my time with any of their crap.  That's just the way I look at it - I don't need to taint myself with the losing teams antics - because they end up defeated.  No contest.  Period. 

This past summer, I remarked how it seemed that novels were moving from just dark and mythological (werewolves, vampires, faeries, and superpowers) to demonic.  But now it seems that it's... I don't know.  It's gone beyond the point of no return?  I said then that I didn't know how it could get any worse, but... I think it has.  Now.  And I think He brought it to my attention so that I could say something about it.  For posterity's sake.

But the crux of all of this, what really gets to me isn't the information, the open and affrontive nature of sharing.  It's more that there's a lack of WISDOM where all of this information is concerned.  Do you know what I mean?   We have more knowledge than ever before - right at our fingertips! - but it's like at the same time, we have less discernment and wisdom to handle it with.  I think that's what is happening to the world.  Everyone is bemoaning how STUPID people are, but it's not that they're stupid, they just have no filter, anymore.  It's like things have a free-flow, all things, even things that should be restrained.

The free-flow cap came off in 2012, I'm telling you.  But the amount pouring out?  It's gotten worse.  So much so that... I don't know.  It feels very, very wrong.  And it just came over me this week.   We've hit another turning point.  And He's driving it home to me.  We're nearly there.

Patchwork Blog

G'morning!  I suppose it's time again for me to update about what's going on, hereabouts.  I'll try to keep it brief, but  you know how I do prattle on and on, like a magpie, r'something.  At least it's in my own space - that way you can just not come and read if you don't want to.

Pen-pal.  Yet again, I'm feeling guilty... and needing to DO something.  Every payday, I make my children either write a letter or do a craft for their pen-pals... and yet I write to no one.  And I love to write.  LOVE to write... nearly as much as reading.  Long story short, I've gotten it in my head (a-Gain) to write to a soldier.  I used to write to them all of the time, when I was younger.  I know so much more now... and never run out of things to say, as you well know.  Anyhow, so I'm trying for it... care packages and letters for the deployed. Take five.  Or six.  Something like that.

Downpour!  It's a big.  BIG soppy mess here.  Has been for days.  It's so bad, the chickens float instead of walking.  Nasty-gross.  I wish it'd let up.  No sign of it, though.  Yesterday we got out and tended critters just in time to get back indoors before a thunderstorm let loose on us.  ((I wanted the goats to get hay before it got soaked.))  It's been one waterlogged spring!  Last night were thunderstorms and a torrential downpour that resulted in flash flooding in our area.  Brian had to find an alternate route to work this morning (there were firetrucks blocking the road where cars were hydroplaning ON OUR STREET), and my backyard and woods... here, take a look:

It's kind of getting bad, and we're supposed to get a LOT more - thunderstorms today and tonight, too.  They're saying the Grand River might beat its highest record, this spring.  It's... kind of crazy.  Our poor sump!

Husky.  Two nights ago, we heard barking by Critter Corner, and that's NOT where Ellie is.  So we went out in the POURING rain, and there was this gorgeous, young, blue-eyed husky.  It was just sopping wet... so we took it in the hay storage barn, and got it food and water, and left the light on for it.  Of course there was no phone number on its tags, but I called the vet listed and gave them the animal ID number, and they were able to give me the number of the owners.  So I called them, and she asked me to keep the dog until 5pm when she gets out of work (so that tells me this is a neglected dog who spends all day alone at home, and is therefore into trouble, when it can be). 

Anyhoo... she shows up in high heeled sandals with NO leash, opens the door of where we're keeping the dog, AND LETS IT LOOSE.  Then she's yadda-yadda non-stop about how the dog got away and went to a nearby dairy farm, and then went two miles the other direction another time, (this tells me that they are NOT taking care of their dogs)... and all the while she's yapping, her dog is trying to climb the coop fence, and my birds are having coronaries (one got out the door flap!)... and the fool woman isn't doing ANYTHING, so I go over, grab the dog (who would be LONG gone, if it weren't terrorizing our birds, hello!), and THEN she calls, "Bear!  Here, Bear!"  Like the dog is going to COME to her?  What a moron!  I bodily take it to her car, with her chitty-chatting all the way there (at this point, I want to whomp the idiot), and I send them away.  NOW.  If it comes back, I lie and keep it.  It deserves a better owner than it has.  I don't think I've met a more astoundingly stupid woman, ever.  She was inconveniencing everyone else, causing damage and strife to other people's property, and she couldn't even care less. 

That's people for you.  And why I hate them.  Loose animals is a HUGE peeve of mine.  It's the sign of a sub-species of human: the negligent and irresponsible owner.  My dog, goats, rabbits, chickens, and ducks don't shit up your yard and deck or invade your space or terrorize YOUR kids/critters... I don't want your animals doing it to mine.  Kthxbye.

Dance Dilemma.  I don't think Lydia likes her dance class.  I observed, yesterday, and she was slumped, putting NO effort into being on the beat, and she just kind of drooped as she went along.  But the moment class was out, she LEAPT and jumped and hopped and danced all the way to the car.  What up wif dat?  I know the teachers (teenagers) are sucky, but the song is good, and the dance is kewl, and the other girls are into it...????  All I can think is that she's not happy.  But I don't know what to do about it.  Except not put her in dance next year, maybe.  If she doesn't want to do it, it's ridiculous for us to pay for the classes.  We'll see.

Photo Ops.  It has been brought to my attention that I haven't been taking pictures.  At all.  I have practically nothing, from September to... what month is it?  April.  Yeah... I just haven't been taking pictures.  Or videos.  That's a BAD thing.  I'm trying to do better - as of today.  See?  I took a picture of my slider door.  That's something, right?

Done.  I'm done.  This is long enough.  Have a great day.

Reading is FUN-damental

I have really had little interest in Xanga, as of late... because I'm going thru another reading phase.  This happens regularly - I love to read.  And when a reading kick hits, I'm on the sofa by the window, sunlight streaming down on the pages of books.  Scads and scads of books.

At the bottom of my page is a link to Goodreads.  Thanks to my friend, Missy, I found Goodreads, and joined their 2013 Reading Challenge a few months ago.  But I'm reading so many books... that I had to up my target goal a month ago, already!  And more, it's looking like I'm going to have to up that goal again, probably in the near future.  Because... I like to read.

I'm an indiscriminate reader.  That means I like thrillers, mysteries, action, biography, fantasy, sci-fi, gothic, classic, dytstopia, modern, how-tos, westerns and more.  Pretty much if there's words in it, I'll pick it up and give it a try.  And I try to shake it up by jumping around genres, which makes things fun, too.  Since I can't browse at the library (having five littles in tow), I mostly browse Amazon, and write down things that sound good, then look them up at the on-line card catalog, and know exactly what to get when I go to the libraries.  Plural - I have eight that we frequent on a regular basis. 

  I get books everywhere.  Goodwill.  Garage sales.  Library book sales.  I never pay more than a buck for a book, and we have just TONS of books.  There was a lady on Freecycle a few years ago who bought Harlequin new releases, and bagged them up and gave them away as she finished them... I have seven of her bags that I haven't even gotten to, yet (I call them my SHTF books... they're for when libraries no longer exist.  LoL!!!).  We have shelf after shelf after shelf of books here at the house - Classics.  School recommended reads.  A to Z mysteries, Magic Tree house books, Encyclopedia Brown, Nancy Drews for Lydia, I have shelves of Bibles and commentaries and more.  Our lesson books.  Encyclopedias of history, poetry, art, literature, and just plain encyclopedias.  This is the bookshelf of a gal I 'follow' on Facebook... I have severe bookshelf envy of her.  I need Brian to build us some more bookshelves.  When we build on, maybe...?

Since Ali talked me into an e-Reader tablet (and my friend 'V' hooked me up with one), I have gotten literally thousands of free books via Amazon.com.  I belong to Pixel of Ink on FB, which gives four free books everyday.  Homeschool Creations links to even more, every other day.  And there's a homeschool FB list (New Bee Homeschooler) that I'm on that gives even MORE books - today is an easy leather-working book and bird flashcards.  Luckily, now that Lydia has a Ki'nook, I can send the kid books to hers and separate the grown-up ones to mine.  But there are SO many books to read, and so little time!

Following the Goodreads link in the corner takes me to my page.  And the fun thing about Goodreads is that you can log what you read.  Of course I started 25 years too late (and can't go back and add EVERYTHING I've ever read, hello)... but I log everything since January and have been rating and reviewing them.  It's so fun, acting like the Roger Ebert of literature, over there.  So my reading challenge?  Oh, yeah, it's going swimmingly.

Mostly I like love stories.  Romances.  Which is... if any writer is worth their salt, there's a love interest, regardless of WHAT kind of book it is.  Because as the Beatles' sang, "All you need is love, love.  Love is all you need."  And I like love stories.  They're an escape, in my life.  Because there just ain't a lot of love to be had, in my little world.  Never was.  And I'm not complaining... I'm just saying.  To get any sort of semblance of kindness, interaction, or caring, I go into a book.  Brian's great - don't get me wrong, but he's the ONLY person in my real life who gives me kindness/interaction/caring, and I can't lay that much on his shoulders.  So I dive into books for supplement.

I had a friend once (haha... not funny, but it seems funny, to say 'had' like that) who berated me for reading romances.  She said that it was wrong as a christian, because THOSE BOOKS (all caps) only served to make women unhappy in their marriages, to serve as an unrealistic comparison to their spouse.  If someone has a problem like that, and can't differentiate that it's not them in the story, they've got bigger problems than a little book can be blamed for.  Better never watch a movie with actors kissing r'anything, either!  Sheesh, what a load of hooey.  ((Almost makes me think there was a valid reason the Lord took that friend from my life.  Almost.))

I do read books with S-E-X in them.  GASP, Shock, oh the horrors!!!  Oh, puh-leeze.  Sex is a part of life.  I read books with murder, deception, and conflict in them, too.  Sometimes even four-letter words!  Isn't that AWFUL???  Y'know... books are about other places, other situations, other people than you may have contact with in your life.  It's about seeing the world thru different eyes for a little while.  It broadens ones horizons.

But the reason I really wanted to write about reading today is because I wanted to state for the record that waiting drives me crazy.  The mundane of our school routine, our family routine, our lives... when the get mired in ruts deeper than I am tall?  Sometimes, I just leave it.  Not grabbing the keys and abandoning my responsibilities or something, but... I don't think there's anything wrong with getting caught up in the pages of a book... or twelve.  ((I'm a fast reader.))   Besides, it's good for my kids to see me reading.  It encourages them to do the same. 

Heck, I've had Brian reading about every night - He's doing Enclave and Outpost ((I. LOVE. THEM.))... and he grew up in a home where reading was nearly non-existent.  He didn't read before he met me - not even for school... he just flunked the book reports, because he didn't care, and thought books were a drag.  He married the WRONG woman - I set myself down on the toilet seat while he showered and read to him, when we got married.  Complete with accents and the works.  He was SO freaked at first, but then really got into the stories... and realized that books are NOT a drag.  Now he reads TONS of books... keeps up with Lydia and I pretty well.  I just keep bringing them home for him and lining him up.  He laughs, but he really does enjoy it.

And reading is not just fun... it's fundamental.  It's encouraging.  Enlightening.  Enriching.  It's so much more than just words on a page.  It's recorded thoughts, dreams, aspirations, fears, and hope.  The Lord must like literature - there's poetry, prose, proverb, adventure, war, love, hope, and prophecy in HIS book.  It's intoxicating.  Invigorating.  Interesting!

And I love every minute of it. 
        So in case you wonder what I'm up to, lately? 
                                                  I'm on a reading kick.

Bitter Waters made Sweet

After Moses and Miriam prophesied in the desert, they took a trip with the Israelites away from the sea.  For three days they traveled in the desert of the Sinai penninsula, and whatever water they'd had during that time was now gone.  There were over a million people, and no water. 

Until Marah.

  Marah means 'bitter', and was called so, because the people saw that it was a place of water, and were SO elated... until they tried to drink it, and found out that it was not potable.  For whatever reason, the water at Marah was not water that they could use... it was bitter.  Until the Lord showed Moses a tree to put in the water.  Putting the tree in the water sweetened it, and it was possible to drink the water after that. 

But what of this tree?

According to christian sites, this tree is the sweet cross of Jee-zus.  Ironically, every source that can be cited from Jewish sages say the exact opposite - that this tree was as bitter as the waters were.  Which... there's irony for you.  To the Christians, Jee-zus is the easy ticket to eternal life.  Grab the gift, sit back, and don't worry about a thing.  To Jews, Yeshuah ben Yosef is a difficult transition.  After thousands of years of striving with only obedience as a means of salvation, it's not easy to switch gears and let go of the need to do it yourself.  I find that absolutely fascinating.  Which direction would I want to come to Him from?

The christian sites said that the desert and the bitter waters of Marah represent sin, which... I'll tell you right now was WHOLLY offensive to me and my point of view.  I clicked out of them, one by one, getting angrier by the moment.  Think about it:  If Israel was just delivered from Egypt/sinful world, were washed free of that bondage with the symbolism of the Red Sea... how in the WORLD can the other side be 'a desert of sin' and Marah's bitter waters 'sin'?  If the blood on the doorposts in Goshen was salvation by Messiah, how can we need Him to 'save' them again, now that they're not only saved and forgiven, but free?  That's a CATHOLIC teaching - that you have to keep sacrificing Him (the point of mass) because a one-time payment for sin isn't enough.  DAMN christians for teaching these lies!  What a wretched, wicked web of lies the weave over people!  Marah CANNOT be sin, any more than the Sinai desert is.  That's just completely contradictory to the Salvation story!

I actually wrote about Marah before... the post is called 'My Marah', and it's on my sidebar.  In it, I explained every place along their journey in a brief overview, but what I'm doing now is digging deeper into it, to learn more.  But what I wrote before about Marah was this:

After they left Shur, the Israelites came to a place called MARAH.  ... "We, in our walk through life come to our own places of Marah, relationships, job, people, past, memories become bitter, and we become disappointed."  It's not that WE'RE bitter... it's that the situations, the relationships, the circumstances we find ourselves in become bitter... distasteful.  Those people, those things we were part of before... we're just not THERE anymore.  We've moved on, we're in a new place, and those places and people are dragging us back, and down.  But how do you let go of them?  You don't want to hurt people, and you know that you have a duty to be a witness in all situations and circumstances and to all people... but it's just NOT working.  Do you know what I mean?

THAT's exactly what Marah is symbolic of.  Taking stock of where we've been, seeing where we're going, and realizing that there's bitterness there that has to be gotten rid of.  How can you taste of sweetness when your mouth is full of bitterness?  When I wrote the 'Marah' post, it was 2007... I was coming out of christianity, and I was Oh. My. GOSH. so bitter about the lies, the things that I'd been duped into believing and doing and the things that I'd held close that were ALL wrong.  I was pissed as hell for a long, long time... you can read it on my past posts. 

On our journey to Truth, this is a necessary step in growth.  Anger and bitterness is a necessary step.  Not just spiritually, either - have you ever read the seven steps of grief, or dealing with loss?  They are:

Anger IS a part of the healing/growing process.  The christians have it ALL wrong - they see these grumbling Israelites as idiots who can't appreciate what they have.  But that's not what's going on, here.  The Israelites just came out of severe trauma.  The slavery, the oppression, the plagues, the uncertainty of flight, the Red Sea experience... it was NOT easy.  There was shock and pain.  There was fear and uncertainty.  And of COURSE there's going to be anger.  It's important and needful to come face to face with that and deal with it, head-on... it's not wrong.  Good night, it's no wonder the church is stagnant!

Back to that tree.  I read about this, and what we're seeing here is actually a process called Phytoremediation.  Basically, there are certain plants that are able to absorb contaminants and clean the waters.  There's an article here (LINK) about Poplar trees being so useful in phytoremediation, because "the trees can turn contaminants into harmless byproducts. Purdue University researchers said a recent a study found that transgenic poplar cuttings absorbed 90 percent of trichloroethylene within a hydroponic solution in one week." 

Another article asserts that "Many plants simply tolerate heavy metals, industrial pollutants and other toxins, but others actually thrive on them. These plants are called hyperaccumulators, and they can safely store heavy metals or other pollutants at levels far higher than other plants can tolerate, making them a crucial part of phytoremediation. Indian mustard, for example, was used to clean the soil around an abandoned factory which had been contaminated with lead. According to Harvard Design Magazine, the mustard was able to clean 75 percent of the lead from the top 20 inches of the soil, reducing lead contamination to safe levels in less than two years."  So whatever the 'tree' was, it was able to clean the water.

And yes, I do believe that Messiah - by way of the cross - not only pays for our sins, but is also able to take our troubles from us.  And that's what this stop at Marah is about.  Bitterness made sweet.

Miram's Song

And Miriam the prophetess, the sister of Aaron, took a timbrel in her hand; and all the women went out after her with timbrels and with dances.  And Miriam answered them, 'Sing ye to the Lord, for He hath triumphed gloriously; the horse and his rider hath He thrown into the sea'.  Ex 15:20-21

If Moses' song was a prophecy for future events, as well as a re-telling of what happened to Pharoah... what future event do you think she was speaking of?  Any other 'horse and riders' come to mind?

For Now, or the Future?

A few days ago, there was a... discussion?... in the comments about peace.  The gist of what I was saying was that there won't be peace on earth from the time of the Garden of Eden until Messiah returns the last time, because as long as sin exists, there can't be peace.  Someone then brought up the angels at Christ's birth, how they sang 'Glory to God in the Highest, and on Earth, peace unto men'.  So there HAS been peace on earth, right?  No.  Even Messiah said, "I bring not peace, but a sword".  I explained that the angels that appeared to the shepherds were prophesying about the future - the millennial kingdom yet to come that will be on the earth after Messiah's final return. 

I explained that a BIG problem the church has, is that they take everything to mean 'right now' in the Bible - the angels said 'Peace on Earth' - it means now!  Actually... it doesn't work that way.  In fact, pretty much every time an angel has appeared in scripture, what they spoke was a prophecy for the future.  Abe... your wife will bear you a child.  Daniel... here are the coming empires.  Joshua... the walls will fall down.  Shepherds... the babe will be the vehicle for peace on earth.  Not now... for the future.

And then I wondered WHY that discussion even happened. 
It was... weird.  Out of left field.  But the fun part is...
it happened because of what I am supposed to write, today.

When Israel came out of Egypt, the first thing that they did, upon watching the waters fold back in on the Red Sea, was to believe.  I mentioned this on Wednesday.  But the next thing that happened was that Moses 'sang' a prophecy.  Oh, at first glance, it looks like it's just a recounting of what the Lord did to Pharoah's army on behalf of the Hebrews, but... it's more than that.

I didn't realize it until Rav Moshe Weinberger's post, the other day.  Here's what he wrote:

“And the Jewish people saw the great hand which Ha'Shem used against Egypt and the nation feared Ha'Shem and they believed in Ha'Shem and in Moshe His servant. Then Moshe will sing...” Exodus 14:30, 15:1

The Gemara (Sanhedrin 91b) comments on these verse, “[Because it] does not say ‘Then Moshe sang,’but rather ‘will sing,’ this is a hint to the resurrection of the dead in the Torah.” We must understand the connection between the resurrection of the dead and the song at the sea.  ...For tzadikim, there is no difference between a salvation which occurred in the past and an anticipated salvation. They are both equally real for the tzadik who feels his emunah tangibly, as if with his hands.

And I thought... whoa, WAIT!  My Bible doesn't say he will sing, it says he sang.  And then I realized... what he's saying is that this is another example of the 'reality of duality'.  There are more than one fulfillments to Yehovah's acts.  Egypt was the Old Testament prototype of a future salvation - Egypt was symbolic of the pagan world, and the plagues were symbolic of the judgments found in Revelations... down to the irony that both were in sets of three with a final judgment!  Israel was saved out, as she will be delivered in the future, and the journey from seed to plant symbolic of the amazing faith we will be given in the future.  Further, the Promised Land was symbolic of the coming kingdom Messiah will rule.

So was Moses simply singing about the deliverance over the Red Sea?  He wasn't.  Often the things we read in the Bible sound like they're meant for that moment, but they're really aimed at a future event.  Moses was a great prophet - he wasn't just talking about what they'd just experienced... he was made aware, because of his level of emunah, his closeness to Ha'Shem, that there was something bigger - similar, but on a much, much grander scale - coming for future generations of those who follow Yehovah, who align themselves under Him and obey His commandments.

Rav Weinberger says "May we merit to attain the level of emunah in which we can rejoice in the final redemption even now because we know we hold the winning ticket of Hashem’s promise that he will send us the ultimate redeemer, may he come soon in our days."

And I smile.  Because I am praying to be able to do just that!

Thursday Thid-bits

• Don't ask.  Thometimes I get a little thilly... and I needed thomething that went with 'Thursday'.  Bethides, now you're laughing, and you know you needed a grin thith morning.  And I was going to write the thecond part of yetherday's posth, but... it can happen tomorrow, insthead.

• We got our income tax return!  I have to admit, when you have five child credits, it's a nice return.  But then, we *need* the nice return... it takes care of a lot of things for us.  Brian needs new tires on his truck, and we always hold off on big car things until the return comes.  I always take our summer (2013) and winter (2014) taxes from the return and set it aside, so when the tax bills come, I have the money to pay them... and that's kind of like Peter paying Paul, isn't it?  Still... it works for me.  We pay for our yearly dental check-ups/cleanings for the family from the tax return.  So it's a good thing.  I always sit down and allocate everything out, and within thirty minutes of getting the return, it's pretty much spent.  But at least it squares us away for the year!

• This year, Brian sat down and did it WITH me, which was... really nice.  Because not only did we allocate funds, but we figured out when he would be taking his vacations (he gets FOUR weeks, this year).  We decided on three 'week' vacations, and then we'll split the last week into vacation 'days' that we can use on Fridays or Mondays, so we have a few 3 or 4 day weekends.  He was even able to put in for two of the weeks at work, as a result.  So that's NICE.  And I'm thrilled to have it all taken care of.
• We also got out the map (and six books I got from the library on things to see/do in Michigan), and we plotted out our big state trip.  I feel SO much better, having all of it written down, when/where and how much, y'know?  We're pretty excited - the goal is to do the east side of the state, from the tip of the mitten down around the thumb, and down to Port Huron (north of Detroit).  I'm looking forward to seeing lighthouses, going in a few ships, hiking Iargo Springs, stopping at a few fun touristy places... we should have a good time.  I'd love to see if I can get us to Turnip Rock (Yeah.  That'll happen.)... it might have to wait until the kids are older.
• Sugarbush is done!  We lost about gallon (boiled it down too far and burned it - homiGAWSH you should've seen the smoke in the house.  I've seen pictures of Hiroshima that looked like my kitchen!), but we still got seven pints of syrup, which... considering it was our first try ever, and we had NO idea what we were doing, I figure that's pretty good.  We told Brian's grandparents about our sugaring adventure, and his grandma got all teary eyed... apparently her family used to stay out at a cook-pot all night for two weeks, and they took a wagon of syrup downtown - they had a circuit of stores they sold Syrup and maple candy cakes to.  It brought back some memories for her.  Personally, I love hearing their stories.  And they have one, for each of our endeavors, too.  When we got our hive, we got to hear all about how Brian's great-great uncle kept bees IN TOWN in the attic of his house - he put the hive in the attic and drilled a hole in the side of the house for them to come in/out of, and nobody knew!  Just fun stories, like that.  Things Brian said he never heard as a kid, we get to hear about, now.
• It has come to my attention that there are two grooves in my head, now... because I wear my glasses all day, every day, and they're pressing into my skull.  I had NO idea!  Is that weird, or what?  So... I'm going to have to make a conscious effort to put in my contacts.  Used to be that I only wore glasses to get me from the bed to the contact case... but somewhere along the motherhood trail, I kinda got lazy and stopped with the contacts (I wear them whenever I leave the house).  But I'd really like my head un-grooved, thankyouverymuch.  So it's back to contacts, I go!
• Did you see the Astronomy picture of the day?  It's GORGEOUS today!  It's the Milky Way over Shanghai, China.  Other things (that I shared on FB, but you might like, if you're over this'a'way) include a REALLY well done Disney parody (LINK), an artist's pen drawn 3-D superhero renditions (LINK)... they're great.  And then there's the view of Korea from outer space (LINK).  You've got to feel for the poor people of that country.  But how about the full moon from last month in time lapse?  (LINK)
• My kids are so deprived... LoL!  Last night at dance class, some kid had a happy meal box, and it had Om-Nom on it... and I was *GEEKED*... so I took the kids to Burger King for supper.  I thought they'd like happy meal boxes with Om-Nom puzzles on it, and an Om-Nom toy.  But we never order happy meals, so they had NO idea what to do when I handed them the boxes.  Aaron actually started crying... he asked dolefully why we didn't get him food.  I had to laugh... it's in the box, buddy, open it up!  He was. Absolutely. Amazed.  Our first adventure in happy meals.  And the Om-Noms are the perfect size to be used with Little People, so they've got the ENTIRE kingdom of Little People (we're talking amusement park, zoo, castle, arks, the WORKS) all over the living room, today!
• We got the quote back from our builder friend on how much the addition will cost.  It's been quoted at $20K, which... I think is high, considering we're only adding 10 feet to the end of the house, and I paid $35K for the ENTIRE house.  ((Brian reminded me that we got the house used, and it would've been $75K new, and that $20K is probably about right.))  So we're going down to the bank on Saturday together to talk about a installment/building loan.  I. Hate. Loans.  I hate them.  I don't want any.  Right now we have one for the truck, and I hate it.  Adding another will have me grinding my teeth for the next five years, straight.  HATE loans.  But... we aren't fitting.  REALLY aren't fitting.
• When Brian had him over, he said he wanted one of the two rooms to be 'open' to the parlor - meaning connected but without a door/walls separating it.  I hadn't thought of that!  It's a great idea, though... and man, do we need the room - have I mentioned that?  I look at the school that's vurped all over the parlor, living room, and dining room... the LEGOs that are spread across every walkable surface, the books stacked on books stacked on books... we need ROOM!  So in spite of my desperate hatred of loans, I'm thinking we're going to probably try very hard to do this.  It's just necessary, at this point.  There's too many of us, LoL!!  That means seven of EVERYTHING, and that takes some space!  And an extra boy's room means that instead of FOUR boys in one room, we'll have two per room, and space for a LEGO center that's not in the dining room.  We'll have room to set out the Little People stuff.  We'll have more wall space for bookshelves.  We'll have counter space.  ((Do I sound gung-ho, or what?))
• It. Is. POURING, here.  Everything is just a soggy, soppy, slogged-thru MESS.  I wonder what this summer will be like?  Last summer was a dought, maybe this summer will be a deluge?  I don't know, but it's made a major mess of Critter Corner.  On the other hand, April showers bring May flowers, right?  And it's washing the winter off everything.  So we have to ac-cent-u-ate the positive.  ((Oh, crap, now I have a song in my head...))
• I've decided NOT to contact Mr. Ed.  It feels stalker-ish.  Besides, if I really wanted to bump into him, I know where to go - to the local thespie production.  Mr. Ed has been 15 years involved with the players in my little town (which... yes, I'm a thespian, but NO, I would NEVER join this group.  It's... five steps below BDT, for friends who know what I'm saying.  But if I really wanted to see him, I could do that.  It's just... too weird, otherwise.  I'm squeamish about stuff like that.
• Anyhow, I'd best scoot.  There's stuff to do, and kids to do it with, and... oi, my HOUSE...!!  ((Justh kidding.  But I sthill should go...))

Faith that Grows

Remember how last week I said that I wanted to follow Moses and the Israelites out of Egypt all the way to Sinai during this year's Counting of the Omer?   Well, I wrote about the dead-of-night crossing, the Lord blocking Egypt physically from seeing what happened, and how it was a sunset to sunrise event.  And then... I didn't write anything more.

Until this morning.  I was reading the sites I visit each morning, and I clicked my way to an article by Rav Moshe Weinberger.  He was teaching from some extra-Biblical thing (I don't know what-all... I skip that stuff and go for the scripture)... and he said that the two things that happened after the Red Sea crossing were amazing.  I want to look at the first one, today... and the second, tomorrow Friday.

The first thing that happened after the waters closed back down on the sea (Ex 14:31), is that Israel 'feared the Lord', and 'believed the Lord'.  This. Is. Craziness!  Why?  Because they'd just been delivered from seven plagues that devastated Egypt.  They'd just been lead by a pillar of cloud (did you see my graphic?!) by day, and a pillar of fire, by night for SEVEN DAYS.  But it isn't until AFTER the parting of the Red Sea that it says they 'fear' and 'believe' the Lord?  What the heck?  You'd think that - seeing everyone BUT them getting smitten with plagues would cause some serious faith changes.  You'd think that pillar of cloud/fire would inspire, too.  But it wasn't until after the waters closed - NOT when they parted, it was when they CLOSED - that they were said to have believed.  Doesn't that seem unbelievable?

Here's what Rav Wienberger says (and this is good!):

"Every Jew has emunah in Ha'Shem on some level, whether revealed or hidden deep inside. ...potential to give up his lifein order to stay true to his faith in Ha'Shem. But there are infinite levels of emunah. A Jew must strive to attain the level of (Shmos 17:12) “And his hands were faith.” On that level, a person’s emunah is so tangible, that he feels like he can touch it with his hands."

So when they experienced the first three plagues, they believed (they acknowledged that, yes Yehovah was real/active), and when they were led by the pillar of cloud/fire, they believed (they acknowledged that, yes Yehovah had a plan and was with them)... but it wasn't until after the destruction of Egypt's forces and the deliverance from the pagan lands that they had a belief that was more than just acknowledgement... it was a faith that began to grow.  A faith revealed, not just inside.

Think of it in terms of a seed... their faith was a seed, and the seed was planted in safety from the elements [of the plagues, if you will], then covered [with the cloud/fire, if you will]... but it wasn't until the water deliverance [of the sea, if you will] that that seed actually began to sprout and grow.  And from Red Sea to Sinai, in fifty days time, they really DO attain that level of emunah that is so tangible, it's touchable with the hands!

Oh, that I might have a faith that grows as theirs did!  That keeps getting more deeply rooted, that keeps stretching and reaching until I'm arms extended toward my Creator, tall and strong!  And isn't it amazing... to read about this HUGE group of people, all starting to grow?  All finally more than just a seed?  I love it!

Confession

I don't want to blog for you.  That's not why I opened this site.  It happens - every so often - that it moves in that direction... that I start 'talking to you' instead of blogging for me, and when it does?  I start to feel like I owe you something.  And I don't like that.  I'm not obligated to you for anything.  I don't have to meet any demand you might think you have on me.

When I get to the point where it feels like the blogging is for you and not for me, I start to feel like I have to put something up here to be spiritual, to edify.  And the truth?  If I'm not being spoken to, if I'm in a 'quiet' period, I don't want to feel like I have to put out some fake faith bull-crap to make anyone happy.  If I'm being led to 'be still' for a spell, I don't want to feel like I have to come here and put in some filler to appease people.  I just (frankly) want to 'be still'. 

Does that mean I'm not going to write?  Heck no - I write, that's what I do.  But maybe I want to write for me, and not for you.  Maybe it's time to ground myself, remind myself of the purpose of writing here, to center everything, again.

I hate fake people.  I'm NOT going to be fake.  If I don't feel like waxing eloquent, then damn it, I'm not going to.  If I'm not getting edified or given anything to share, I'm not going to pull something out of my hiney to keep up an appearance.  It's not how it goes, here.  And it seems that point should be made clear, right now.  And there it is.