March 11, 2013
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Weight n’ Workouts
I am typically a very driven person. I research stuff up until it’s so dissected and analyzed, it’s not funny. I’m pretty meticulous about schedules, have a metric crap-ton of goals at any given moment, and…
… yet I am so freakin’ out of shape again…!!!!!!Okay. Okay. I… did really well with the 30-day shred, but frankly it wasn’t for me. Honestly? Fitness work-outs aren’t for me. As a goal driven person, I wanted there to be a finis at the end of the measure, for there to be a desired result, and do you know what sucks about fitness? You NEVER get there. And even if you do, if you don’t keep KILLING yourself to maintain? It’s over, baby. Everything you did is immediately undone. One three-day bout of flu and you’re set back a month. And I have a hard time with that. It’s like playing Triple Town… no matter how many floating castles you score, you are GOING to DIE… there’s no winning that stupid game. Irritating to the nth. It’s the same with the 30-day Shred. No matter how hard you work, how many calories you take off, you are GOING to get FAT again, unless you beat yourself to a bloody pulp and live a life of sweat and pain and misery, and will someone PLEASE tell me where the joy is in that? Because (yeah, go ahead, laugh) I just do NOT see it.
I’m chubby. My daughter said so. “You’re not fat, Mom, you’re chubby.” Ha. Hahahahhhhhhnnnevermind. I know it. Okay: I know that I’m chubby. I have a six-baby-wide butt’n'belly. I did it to myself, and I don’t regret it, and I’d do it again in a heartbeat, because the ends TOTALLY justified the means. But that doesn’t mean I like the ends. It just means that I choose the chub, if’n it means I get to find stuffed animals stuck to my fridge, matchboxes between the sofa cushions, pictures of Optimus Prime under my chair leg at the table and legos under the soft spot of my foot. ((Nix that last. That hurts.)) Of this pic, I’m second from the left, where belly/bottom is concerned (except I weirdly have super slender wrists/arms and calves/ankles) I’m a weird combo, and it’s the part that’s second from the left that’s not acceptable. Not for me, anyhow.I thought I’d use MFP starting with the new year (5773, so we’re talking Oct 2012) and lose weight. And I did Tae-Bo in the mornings and elliptical in the afternoons. And I lost ten pounds! Woo-HOO! And then I thought I’d kick it up with the 30-day Shred with Brian after kid bedtime, and I sloughed off on the Tae-Bo (but still did elliptical), and STILL lost another seven pounds. WooooT. Then I kind of got lazy around naptime and dropped the elliptical, and gained weight. “Oh, that’s muscle!” Jillian lied to me. Bull-hooey. So I added back the Tae-Bo and did the Shred… and gained weight. So I was shredding my hiney off, Tae-Bo-ing before breakfast… and gaining weight. And was getting majorly pissed off, because you don’t gain muscle weight until you shed the 25-poun’a fat-butt, hello. So I got mad and quit.
Besides, my MFP group sucked, and that was discouragement on top of discouragement, and screw that un-joyful way of living. I’d rather be fat and happy and have chocolate and joy than stinky and sweaty and sore and unhappy. And I told my MFP group that, too. They blinked, and said nothing… so I figured if they didn’t give a whup, neither did I. So I walked.
And now here I am. Sucking in to fit the only jeans that I can still button (barely). I think I’m back to square one, and that’s pretty amazing, considering I busted some major booty from October 15 to January 15… and it’s only March 11. THAT’s discouraging – gain it in half the time it took to lose it? That seems just wrong, don’t you thik? And so yes, yes, YEAH, OKAY, I know I have to do something, or stop complaining… and I’m NOT about to buy new jeans. No way. So…
I got to thinking. And here’s what I saw:
1. Tae-Bo + Elliptical + (nada) = weight loss.
2. Tae-Bo + Elliptical + Shred = weight loss.
3. (nadda) + Elliptical + Shred = weight loss.
4. (nada) + (more nada) + Shred = GAIN
5. Tae-Bo + (nada) + 30/Shred = GAIN
6. Tae-Bo + (nada) + (more nada) = GAINSo what I’d done shows that Tae-Bo does nothing. Shred does nothing. the ONLY numbers that show loss are the ones that involve elliptical (which is the softer/better version of running, fyi). So if you want to lose weight, you don’t buy the videos. You don’t crunch and plank and strengthen. You can crunch and plank and strengthen until you’re blue in the face and sweating buckets… it’s the RUNNING that does it. Nothing else will ever, ever, ever work.
So I went looking for an elliptical plan. Except people apparently do plans based on WORKING ellipticals, that can adjust to certain inclines or tensions. And my elliptical? I got it for $25 off Craigslist because the digital thingers don’t work. ((This pic? Pretty much like what I have.)) I have no readout, no adjustments. I can increase tension with the twist of that knob, but it doesn’t have numbers on it, so it’s not like I know what I’m adjusting to/from, and with five littles, I never know what setting some child walked by and twisted it to. But I can use it, regardless, and it’s mine, and… so apparently I have to create my own workout plan. My own ‘Booty-to-Buff(er)’ workout plan for elliptical. Because if there’s a wheel to be had, I have to re-invent it.
I’m basing it on this dude’s plan… which is too simplistic for me. I need to mark things off as I go, dagnabbit. A plan means executable steps which can be reached. Something that – if I get sick, go on vacation, or take a break, I can back up on a little and get back to where I was without starting ALL over, winging it. And I can get into this machine. I can do the elliptical thing without worrying about five children not keeping up behind me. Can do it at home, with little room, little investment, little trouble. I just need a plan.And running? I love that. I run. Running and swimming are the only sports I ever got into. Probably because they can be done alone and I hate human interaction. ((Although I ran with a guy named Greg in college. I miss Greg. He was a Criminal Justice major and we just hit it off, and he was fast and I’m long-legged, so we ran well together. I wonder if he ever ended up CIA, like he wanted…)) Running is just… total body, total cardio, it’s… freeing. So is swimming, for that matter. It’s running in water, sort of. And elliptical is for people with children, LoL!! And while I’m torn about whether or not I’m EVER going to not hate fitness… maybe if I get back to what I enjoy, it’ll be better… no?
So there’s my chart. S’why this post is late (after noon, anyhow). Well, that and Monday’s are busy school days. But I hope to get started… and see if I can make this new schedule work for me.
Comments (8)
I’m driven too. I have given in to death for a about 2 years now. I was protesting.
It’s a lot of work for me to maintain my weight and way more if I want to lose it.
If I wanted to lose weight fast, I would have to exercise for at least 2 hours a day. I used to run 5 miles every other day, aerobics on the days I didn’t run, and I rode my bicycle 20-40 miles per day on top of working long shifts. There was no sleep. I slept like 3 hours a night, and everyone still treated me like crap. Basic training was a joke to me.
I want to lose the weight so that I’m not in pain.
“I’d rather be fat and happy and have chocolate and joy than stinky and sweaty and sore and unhappy.” :vvv: :vvv:
I’m so there with you, I’d do it all again too. Totally worth it!
I do want to be healthier, but I’m way past wanting to be “skinnier”.
Oh my word.. I think I understand my problem now! I stopped riding my bike when it became too cold in our basement. I have been doing Wii and dvd’s, but not the same amount of loss as when I was riding! I think it might be time to get back to it.
I hear ya! Except…swimming dies NOT work for me. Last summer, we swam -SWAM, not played – 2 hours a day. And I lost NOTHING; not weight, not niches. :sigh:
Right now, I’m trying to walk a few times a week. The DVDs work….but Steven quit the week he started, and it’s hard to keep going, you know? :sigh: wish it would warm up soon so I could spend more time outside (44* and wind don’t work for me.)
No… one does not lose weight swimming. It’s more of an endurance thing. But that’s the way I used to run, too. I’m not fast at ANYTHING… but I used t’could go a long, long, long time.
It’s the running/elliptical. It’s the only way to lose.
Some how I managed to take off my weight last year and keep it off. I had too-I felt horrible.
I just burn 500 calories doing 5 miles (*then I can eat that huge burger with the friend egg on top!)
It’s become easier. Once I took it off of course. Maintaining is just about making smart choices (Not easy when it is jelly bean season)
I don’t get on the scale each day-but I do wear those dumb skinny jeans and as soon as they feel snug? I just return to eating smart. Usually low carb. (I had celery sticks and salsa for a snack today & it was great!) I also bought a two piece swimsuit about 2weeks ago and use it as a visual goal. That helps…I need reminders.
You can do it. You seem great with working on goals! With the time change, more light during the day, warmer weather-It should all fall into place.
Yay! Excited for you!
Every body type is different, what works for one body type/metabolism might not work for someone else. the bottom line is it’s not a diet – it’s a lifestyle change. You can’t deprive yourself of a certain food or food group & think that once you start eating it again you’re going to keep the weight off. It’s about healthy choices, shopping the outer aisles of the grocery store & knowing exactly what you are putting into your body. Not beating yourself up when you have one bad meal or one bad day. Giving yourself permission to have a treat once a week. But more importantly showing your children what a healthy lifestyle looks like. And don’t forget you have an almost teenage girl watching you, you think she’s not paying attention to your struggles with body image? It’s not about a number or a size, it’s a decision about how you want to feel both mentally & physically. You are the research queen, see what soy, processed sugar gmo products & bovine growth horomone due to the human body. I will always be the first person to encourage someone to “get healthy & fit” I will never encourage anyone to “go on a diet”. If you want some links I’d be happy to send you some. Off my soapbox now!
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