November 26, 2012

• Falling Behind
  (an almost-’stream of consciousness’ post)

  I feel very much like I just can’t seem to keep up, these days…

  Well, we asked our realtor friend if he would come and give us an appraisal on our house this coming week. Whether we move (or get raptured) or not, it would be nice to know what our property is worth – remember, we bought the acreage and then a house and barn kit for this place we’re currently at, and everything was put together from scratch, so we have no idea what the place is worth.  And we REALLY liked that property that we went to see – it has double the acreage, double the living space, half the traffic, half the neighbors, an eighth the easement issues, and the barn is Brian’s dream.  We’ve been four times to see it (now that we know it’s vacant, and want to try to scope out if critters/gardens/kids will fit).  With that in mind, we thought it would be a good idea to get a ballpark figure on our home/property.  And even if we DON’T move… knowing what we appraise at would be beneficial.
  
  As a result, we’ve been looking at our house this weekend, and… wOw. The kids have put the hurt to this place in the seven years we’ve been here. There is a LOT that needs to be done to get it nice enough to even THINK of selling. The boys have literally picked huge patches of navy blue paint off their walls in their bedrooms, the wallpaper borders are just shredded in the parlor, the trim has been snapped in two in places…
  
  Granted, there are FIVE children who are 12 and under (and mostly destructive boys) in this house 24/7/365… that’s quadruple the amount of abuse the normal house endures. So I guess – considering – it’s not SO bad… but it’s still a LOT. At least there are no holes in the walls.  But we need to get our friend Excavator Brian out here to grade the drive (from the McCoy boy’s burnouts, which are now potholes that put the hurt to our car’s suspension and my neck).  And we need a drywaller to come do something with the closet faces we never finished… speaking of, the boys bent the metal runners of their bi-fold doors in two, again, and are on their fifth curtain rod… they snap those like toothpicks.
  
  Worse, the dust. And the cobwebs. I *JUST* deep cleaned the house in September for Elul, mind you… and it’s like it never happened… there are elaborate cobwebs just everywhere, in the corners of the ceilings… it’s crazy. Brian says it’s from the McCoys flying up and down the gravel drive, and partly from our chickens… I don’t know.  I’ve never had this before… to this extent.  Four days in our house, and stuff is COVERED in dust.  That fast.  This weekend we changed the air filters on our furnace – they were literally coated in a heavy layer of dust.
  
  

  Apparently I just am NOT keeping up, well…!!
  

  
  Then there’s life beating my bottom. First there was the feasts, then two weeks of canning salsa, then spaghetti sauce…  followed by my mad Halloween costuming.  After that was cooking/pureeing/freezing a ton of pumpkin, then processing nine QUARTS of honey – triple what we had last time!  Then we were hit with two solid weeks solid of the flu… by the time it was over, I had a day and a half before Thanksgiving to try to wash/clean/de-sick everything AND bake.  On top of all of that, Brian’s been off eight days (four last week and four again this week) which messes with our routine, too!

  We’re keeping up with schooling, but I don’t feel like we’re really enjoying it as much as we could be, y’know? Like we’re filling the appropriate slots instead of having fun and learning new things. It’s like there are too many distractions, too many clots sticking up the drain… my analogies lack, but you get the idea.  And I’m partly NOT complaining – we’re busy, fruitful, accomplishing, creative… but wha, the train’s traveling WAY faster than I’m comfortable with, these days…!!!
  
  And my blog. I haven’t had the time to do a decent post in… FOREVER. It’s not that there aren’t any in my head, I just don’t have the time/wherewithal to actually sit down and document stuff, put things together, and have a decent presentation. It’s driving me a little crazy. You probably noticed I’ve simplified and went back to the old look here, so that my mind would (hopefully) kick back in with the familiarity to help recover some semblance of clarity… dunno, though.  Maybe we just need to get thru the crazy seasonal stuff before I can stop going full-out for a while.
  
  Because we’re a LONG way from being done with the madness.  I’m two books behind on scrapbooking, and it’s been three months since developing anything, so I’m due for that, too. Then there’s the holidays that are still coming up… gift buying, Hanukkah’s week-long festivities, X-mess visits, the parade, library events, Caroler Nite… taking the kids shopping for the cousins, getting a trip in just the two of us to shop for the little stuff… 

  SO GLAD that I declined doing ‘The Messiah’ this year – it would’ve meant a two-hour round trip once a week to rehearsals.  ((They weren’t keen on the idea of letting Lydia participate, even though she’s taller than half the participants, auditioned for and was accepted to and SOLOED for one of the premier singing groups in the Great Lakes region… can harmonize and read music, and would’ve been a huge asset to the group.  I’m sick of the BS… your loss, people.  Of both her AND me.))  It’s just as well… that would’ve been even MORE on our plates, and I’m glad it isn’t, at this point!  And honestly, I handled it wrong – I was nice (aka stupid) and asked permission to bring Lydia.  I should’ve just shown up with her if we were going to do it, and screw propriety.  I’m STILL too hung up on propriety.  Will that EVER go away?  Because I really need to lose the nice side I’ve got.  It’s too natural, and I’m sick of paying for it.

  I forgot to add the weight-loss stuff!  It has been MAYHEM, recording caloric intake and fat burning thru exercise, the 30-day Shred and the hurt that’s putting to my poor wussy body, time on the elliptical, watching portion control, making sure I drink at least 6 cups of water a day… my new goal is 177lbx by New Years (since I met my New Years goal of 185 on Thanksgiving!), but it takes some serious dedication, lemme tell ya!
  
  I’m just a little overwhelmed, at the moment.  Don’t worry, I’ll be alright.  We’re about halfway thru the crazy seasonal stuff, right?  The sickness is gone, Brian’s back to work today, school will get back on track, and we’re actually re-claiming this place from disrepair, a little.  These are all good things.  I’ve left the issue (or non-issue) of moving in Yehovah’s hands – if He wants us to buy/sell, He’ll arrange things for us.  If not, I can make things work, here.  Organizing the coming weeks should help my peace of mind, and we’re financially stable, so there’s another thing that makes life a little less stressful.  It’s just a matter of getting back on top of what I can, and trusting about the rest. 

  And that’s my goal, for today!  ((grins))

  • 9:39 am
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