November 15, 2012
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The Dream
Last night, I had a funky dream. Tell me what you think of this:
I was in some sort of classroom. I was the only female, and all of the guys around me were in their late 20s or early 30s… I was the only one pushing 40. The fact made me feel ancient… the fact that they looked like business guys and I was a housewife made me feel even more ‘odd-man-out’ than the age and sex things. Anyhow, the ‘teachers’ were those two guys who created Google – Sergey somethin’r'other and… I kept referring to the other one as ‘Mark’ in my mind during the dream (maybe a Mark Zuckerberg reference?), but he was the other Google guy – dark hair, sharply dressed. I’m not a Google fan, in any way/shape/form, so I don’t really know much about them, except what they look like.
They had a list on the chalkboard of songs I didn’t know (some of which had odd symbols for names), and their play lengths. It was an enormous list, and I was supposed to have added up all of the times for each song, but I couldn’t – for some reason, I was afraid as I wrote them down, I would skip one, and so I kept going over and over my page, comparing it to what was on the board, making sure I had all of the numbers, names, and symbols right. And I had no PC or calculator (and I don’t have a cellphone with that kind of capability), so I was the only one doing it all manually, with my head… so naturally I was WAY behind. But I was determined to get the answer.
At the same time, Mark (the other Google guy) was lecturing about something, and I was trying to listen and taking notes, as well, so I had the calculation going, the board check going, and was listening and write down notes about the lecture at the same time. Needless to say, I was scrambling. A lot. But I’ve always loved study, and I thrive on that kind of thing… I just don’t like feeling like I’m behind the others… deficient.
Then Sergey came over and perched on the edge of the table I was working at, and he asked me what on earth I was scribbling so madly for. And I explained that I was afraid of missing one of the songs, and there were just so many of them, and I was going as fast as I could… and he saw my notes, and mentioned that nobody else was taking notes. Which made me feel stupid – apparently the others in the class could just… absorb?… what was being said, and I was inferior, because I was taking notes? But that’s the way I’ve always operated – I like a paper trail, I like something to show for what I heard/learned. Hard copy is important.
I promised him I would do a good job, and that I would get it right, and that I would finish the work. He seemed pleased with me, but I wasn’t sure. Then I lamely (because I talk too much) tried to explain that I was unfamiliar with these songs, and they looked strange to me… that I don’t listen to modern music… what I normally listen to was recorded a good sixty years before this stuff was dreamed up. He asked me what I listen to, and oddly – in the middle of this class – I started singing:
Modern times have brought us many blessings
People live in wealth and luxury
But the Master still asks this question
Lovest thou Me, lovest thou Me, more than these?
I love Thee more than this old world could offer
All sinful follies I deny for Thee
My love, my life, my all, Lord, I pledge Thee
I love thee Lord, more than these
Lovest thou me, more than these My child?
What will, will your answer be?
Oh precious Lord, I love Thee more than all of these
More than fame
More than wealth
More than the worldNeedless to say, he was more than slightly taken aback. I apologized that the end didn’t exactly rhyme, that Doug Oldham should’ve done better than that… I have NO idea why I’d do that, except that I think I was slightly self-conscious. But it seemed very important that I share that – right at that moment. I was very choked up, and I felt like this was pivotal… and I realized I really meant every single word of that song… I wasn’t just singing words. I was delivering MY message to this guy.
And then I woke up. And was pretty shaken by it. So… I have my own ideas of what symbolism was going on here. I just thought it’d be fun to hear what you guys think. ((grins))
Oh! And in case you’re unfamiliar with the song, there’s not a Doug Oldham version available, but here’s Ernie Haase & Signature Sound’s version:
Comments (7)
do you ever have a dream where you are surrounded by people that you feel like you belong with?
Let’s see you have the young professionals, what the world would call successful people - and they have access to technology that you don’t? At first it seems like they have laptops or calculators or phones to help them solve the problem on the board (cheaters? Relying on something to give them the answer?) and you are the only one that is figuring out the answer for yourself? Only relying on the information you can see with your own eyes. Being responsible for your own accuracy (in transcribing) and interpretation (calculation).But still having to keep up with the lecture that is going on – so you have two problems - the one on the board that seems to be the gathering of information given in advance and being able to figure it our and come up with some kind of grand total for all that information. (To me that seems like all the scripture and prophecies – but some of them are not easy to understand.) And since all of them are important, you want to be exacting. It would be so easy to over look one, or not copy it accurately.
But there is also a lecture going on – and these young professionals are (absorbing?) absorbed in that. They are focused on the lesson that is being taught right now. And not so concerned about figureing out the answer to the problem on the board. I can’t be sure but it seems that you are annoyed that they can just be a part of the class with no effort on their part – they are not falling behind – they are not getting in trouble for not working hard enough. but the teacher is concerned about you.
Not because you are doing a poor job, it seems you are doing a fine job, but he is concerned that you are stressed out and spread so thin. It seems like he is indicating that you can do what you are doing, that is fine, but everyone else is just listening – not all frazzled.
But you want to defend your position – you are trying to accomplish a very difficult task you were given. And you can’t just do it half way – everything is so different from what you are used to. And you want this teacher to understand that you are determined to complete the assignment.
But when he asks you what you listen to – that is really asking what is at the core of your heart? I only sing in dreams when I am really emotional. Maybe people who sing in a professional capacity are different – but it seems that you are telling this guy – hey even though I am working frantically and seem focused and isolated from the others – here in my heart my number one focus is loving my Lord.
Now I have two ideas on the meaning – and it really depends on your gut feeling of the guys teaching the class.
The classroom is this existance. Everyone in the class is here to learn and grow. There is a main problem that has been there since the beginning of time that everyone tries to figure out (on the chalkboard) and there is the specific lessons that people are learning from the lecture going on right now (the time we are born into)
Tthe people in class are the regular people of the world who are successful by the world’s standards and they don’t seem to pay too much attention to the big problem on the board. They are focused on the here and now. On the teacher of the hour. They seem confident, relaxed, secure.
You seem a little upset that you are working harder than they are and they are not being picked on. The other teacher wants to know why you are working so hard? why not join the class and be like the others? But you have a mission and they don’t and you refuse to be distracted from the task at hand. So in idea one the guys teaching the class are bad guys who seem nice and trying to distract people from the big calculation.
In the second idea the guys teaching the class are good guys – and they are saying – hey the big problem is important but you are in this class now and you need to really absorb what is happening here. The message of the hour is important. That is why we put you in this class, even though you feel out of place. You are not here alone, don’t isolate yourself. Connect with the teacher of the class, be a part of what is going on and hear the message that is being given.
ok, now tell me what it really means…
I don’t know what it really means. But two things:
1. The teacher wasn’t ‘picking’ on me – he wasn’t singling me out to reprimand me, he came over out of curiosity… surprise. Nor was I upset about the others – I frankly didn’t have time to worry/think much about them. I was a little busy doing my own thing. The same as I did in HS… other kids were like the extra books on the shelves. I didn’t register them. I was too busy to worry about them.
2. I never got defensive, only apologetic and sincere in my goal to get finished, regardless. I never felt like I was being attacked or that I needed to counter him in any way… it wasn’t that kind of a conversation.
You did get a lot of the things I was thinking, though. The symbolism of the board/lecture, the symbolism of the young professionals. Brian thought it was weird that I was reading/writing in a dream. I guess you’re not supposed to be able to do that? But I read in dreams often, so that’s probably a wives’ tale.
I also sing in dreams often – especially that reoccurring one where I’m at the theater in costume and about to go onstage to perform a show I’ve never rehearsed… and then suddenly I’m running out there, singing and doing choreography I shouldn’t know but somehow do. That happens a LOT to me. This was different, though – WAY more personal and important, y’know?
I got a heavy message of speaking out against being ‘of the world’, materialism and being genuine… and having something to show for yourself. But I still can’t decide if Google was the King of the World, or symbolic of God…
And no. For the record, I have *NEVER* dreamed I was in a group in which I belong. Last night, for example, I dreamed I was at a church. I felt hostile towards them before I even went in. My mother was there, and people from all of the different churches we’d gone to (Calvary, MBC, MCC, etc). My MOM and sister were there, and my brother and his wife, too. It was huge and made of wood… looked like a cross between Great Wolf Lodge and a high school Cafeteria (more of a cafeteria with a Great Wolf facade). They wanted me to stay and eat. I didn’t even want to touch their food. Lydia was with me, and she wanted to go, too. There was a deep sense of betrayal by my family, and I was very upset… almost angry. In fact, I think the angrier I got, the more lucid I became, until I woke up. But no. I’ve never belonged – not in real life and certainly never in my dreams, to my recollection.
I have to take that back – when I wrote that, something niggled, so I went back looking, and found that there WAS one dream in which I sort of belonged to a group.
http://anna.xanga.com/753587669/item/
That’s the only one like it, though – and it’s very unique and strange.
Oh yes I remember that dream of yours!
My little brother and I often have dreams where we are reading, writing or doing math. Danny and I both speak and understand other languages in our dreams. And I often meet people that I know spirituallyin my dreams but that I have never met or heard of in real life. So… I guess we are all freaks eh?
Lately not so much – sadly.
It is always hard to know how people *felt* during a dream.
So the guy who came up to you was more symbolic of people who directly seek you out are curious about what you are learning? Intersted in your method?
Those are people you will share with and expose your heart to. Even though you said it was non confrontational – you mentioned being worried about being seen as inferior… but the people who are doing their own thing are not your concern?
Is that more like it?
In a classroom, you are there to learn, and what do people use google for nowadays? To learn.. to search for answers. But out there in the internet, just like the *world* itself, those answers may be skewed, false, or only half true. You wanted to make sure that the answers you were trying to find as you learned were the correct ones because you don’t want to displease Him. You were different and set apart from everyone else in the room in how you obtained those answers, and that is fairly spiritually significant. The song in question is asking if you love Him more than anything else, in fact it asks for what your answer is. You seemed, in the dream very self conscious or fearful of the fact that you’d screw something up in obtaining the answer correctly. And maybe that’s representative of your journey in understanding what’s to come. Do you second guess yourself with what ifs? Am I sure..? What if i’m wrong, what if I missed a step? etc.
The questions or things of note I have about this dream may seem like small factors: how many songs were listed? what were the odd symbols and what did they look like? what was the ”adding up time” leading to. You may not of noticed this or currently understand that either… but this is the second time you’ve had a dream about being within a group of people (mostly male?)and sort of being pressed to do something of some importance. That’s what I see at the moment. It’s very odd.
Ali – EXACTLY!!! :kewl:
Cagey – I do question myself. A LOT. It’s one of my biggest faults, I fear. As to the other details… I only know there were columns of songs on the board – it filled both halves of it. I saw the symbols and tried to copy them, but some looked very similar – it wasn’t Hebrew or Russian or anything I might recognize, but they were small and difficult to differentiate between. I have NO idea why I had to add the times up, only that I had to.
It’s been fun to sit and think all of it out, though!
I think it is great to dream of writing things!
I have remembered making a very detailed piece of art (Or even seeing a gallery show of my work)
I learned to take notes about those things. I actually have MADE art from these dreams. It’s cool to do this-but I can’t control it. If I could it would make art making easier! Ha!
How about Israel the past few days? YOWIE!
xox