October 12, 2012

• Kickin’ My Own Booty

  Did I mention we’re still here?  This does NOT bode well, either.  Well… it doesn’t bode ill until January 1st (the SMS window is still open thru December 31, so we’ll see…), but I honestly did NOT expect to be here, now.  We’re at Revelation 7:9.  There’s NOTHING left to fill in the gaps.  So the feasts were the obvious and most likely time for a rapture.  And yes, we still have the 8 days of Hanukkah as a possible window, but that’s SO CLOSE to January 1st… and honestly, I can’t dither any longer.  It’s time to start preparing myself for the worst-case scenario… that – like Israel – we’re ‘in Egypt’ for all of the judgments, just not effected by the rest of them.  I refuse to think that way, and at the same time, I refuse to be caught with no oil in my lamp, either.

  I’m not talking about storing up food or getting supplies around so that one can live without electricity.  The time for that is WAY past.  I wrote about prepping from 2006 thru 2010… and you’ll note that I haven’t written any such posts since.  It takes too much time/learning and we’re beyond that.  No, my goals are very different, these days.  And the primary one – the one I’m really focusing on right now – is my physical state.  And ho, baby, am I in trouble.

  Because have you seen my hiney lately?
  Of course you haven’t.  I refuse to post a picture.
  It’s just too embarrasing.

  Oh, I tease about being a ‘chubby blonde’, but the fact of the matter is that I weigh pretty much what I weighed when I stepped out was forced to be wheeled out of the hospital with Baby Owen in my arms fully inspected and legal car carrier (I hate overbearing gov’t powers, but let’s not digress).  Anyhow, the point is that I had the excuse of ‘I’m nursing, my breasts are heavy with milk’, and ‘He’s a fussy one – I can’t get out to run yet’ for about a year.  Then we weaned, and for all of 5773, I had no excuse, except that I just… didn’t do anything about my sad physical state.  Why bother if I was just in for an uncorruptible body in nine months, anyhow? 

  Well, the nine months is OVER, and…

  I’m chubby.  I don’t fit any of my jeans – not even the in-between-baby jeans.  I fit the knit shirts, but my belly is so big around, they pull up, and it’s just NOT kewl.  So mostly I wear maternity stuff.  I weigh… a LOT.  Okay, so I don’t look fat – I’m 5’9 and don’t carry it badly – but I look very middle aged mama around the tummy/hips/hiney/thighs.  And I don’t LIKE it.  I can’t run a quarter mile without gasping and panting.  That’s just dadgum pathetic.  And even riding bike like crazy all summer?  I’ve lost NO baby weight.

  Brian says that’s wrong.  He thinks I have an hormonal imbalance, because I’ve been tired EVERY day at exactly 3:30pm, for over a year… and I’m not the ‘tired’ type.  Also because I’ve been breaking out like a pubescent teenager.  Also because he’s read that 80% of women over 35 have a hormonal imbalance.  He’s got me taking my temperature when I wake up, this week – supposedly if your temp is consistently 97 upon waking, you have an hormonal imbalance.  I don’t know… we’ll see.  ((What I wanna know is… does 97.9 count?  I mean, just how technical are we getting, here…?))  And is the hormonal imbalance because of my extra weight, or is the extra weight because of the imbalance?

  But regardless, I DO know that something’s gotta change.  I’m too big for my own comfort.  I mean, even in my thin days, I had a crappy self-image – multiply that by six pregnancies and a booty, and y’got where I am.  It’s not a happy place, I might add.  And I know a LOT of women find themselves here.  ((Well, not SIX pregnancies, but… you know.))  Only I’m not a lot of women – I’m superwoman.  And a saggy superwoman is unacceptable, FYI.  And a saggy superwoman still here after Sukkot is even WORSE.

  So!  I have signed up at MyFitnessPal.com, thanks to the recommendation from my friend LMRamos.  She wrote on her blog that she’s joined a New Year’s fitness challenge there, and I thought, “WoW.  That is exactly what I need, too!  And maybe she could be my buddy!”  So I joined and found myself a New Year’s challenge group (not hers – I don’t want to be TOO tag-a-long!), but we are buddies (along with QMTJ – thank you!!)   It almost feels like my days in StorkNet – I’m part of a support group!  We’re sharing goals, inspirational statements, what we do when we’re not inputting our exercise/food log data… it’s kind of kewl.  My group is closed, now, which feels good, secure, even kind of cozy.

  And the really kewl thing?  It does help to do it on-line.  Because you know people are watching, and you know that if you don’t DO something, it’s going to be so glaringly NOT there… so I think this is going to be helpful.  And you just type in ‘Hostess Ding Dong’ (<< yes, I truly did) and it automatically tells you that you’re eating 5000 calories and 200 grams of fat (only the real numbers, silly), and it doesn’t slap my hand for it.  ((And really, it’s not like I don’t have a plethora of excuses.  They were ‘buy one, get THREE free’ at the store, and we have one box left, and it’s like a doughnut for breakfast, and I promise NEVER to buy them again – they taste kinda like foam, anyhow.  I was stupid.  But I’m not gonna just throw food away.  I’m WAY too cheap for that.))

  Frankly, I think the thing is too easy on me.  First, you’re only given up to seven work-outs a week as a goal.  Now, I’m doing Tae-Bo before breakfast, running outside or doing elliptical downstairs when Owen goes for nap, and am ‘Sweatin to the Oldies’ every few nights.  That’s MORE than 7/week, FYI… but at least I can log them, anyhow.  And in the past two days, I’ve been under my calorie goal both times – even eating at McD’s and with the Hostess Ding Dong thing.  That seems generous, doesn’t it?  Whatevs, if it makes me feel good and is okay with them, I won’t complain.  ((snort!))

  Anyhow, my goal is to lose butt n’ gut with some serious exercise, portion control, and support.  Note I didn’t say change of diet.  I don’t think changing one’s diet is a good idea – because you just revert back, later, and it feels like deprivation in the interim, which is detrimental to a good mindset.  I know, I know, I’m weird, but there you have it.  I don’t like or eat tofu and parsnip slices.  I don’t think forcing myself to drink a green slime-shake of kale and brussel sprouts is EVER going to happen in my lifetime… because I don’t like to vomit, thanks.  But I will drink water with supper and cut the pops down to just when we go out to eat.  And I will stop snitching the remains of children’s food (which is my MAIN downfall).  And I do want to run, more.  A LOT more.

  I’ve done it before.  I thought we were done baby-making after Aaron, so I lost 35 pounds in 6mos back then.  Of course, then it was commanded that we beget Owen, and I put it all back on, plus the requisite ten pounds.  ((NoTe:  Women supposedly put on ten pounds for each child.  I carried six bairns… do the math.  It’s too frightening to come out and state.))  If I could lose 35 after Aaron, I’m sure I can lose… FORTY-FIVE?!?!?!… after Owen.  Maybe.  Homigosh, I’m a little concerned…!!

  My New Year’s Goal is actually less than that.  Because it’s only ten weeks to New Years.  ((Did you know that?  Better start thinking about your X-mess shopping, people!!))  My goal for New Years is to lose…

  Okay, and here’s where I confess something else – I put down the wrong weight when I started.  I put down the last thing I weighed (at the Dr this summer), because I hate scales and figured it hadn’t changed much, as it hasn’t changed much in 2 years.  But apparently it HAD changed (by about five pounds!) so when I got on the scale this morning…

  ((NoTe:  I’m not sure my scale is calibrated correctly, either.  It’s always grossly different from the Dr. office.  This could be a problem… how do I know what I weigh, anyhow?  Should I just go off what MY scale says?))

  …Anyhow, it’s LESS than I’ve weighed at any time since having Owen.  So!  I hadda change my start weight at MFP, and the dadgum program said, “Congratulations, you lost FIVE POUNDS!” which I had to delete, and it’s SO ridiculous, anyhow…

  ((NoTe:  Or maybe I lost poundage since I started on Wednesday.  Two pounds a day, plus a bonus half pound for good measure? I don’t know… miracles never cease, maybe I have lost five pounds… but likely not.  The whole thing is confusin’, man…))

  Anyhow, so that’s my newest project.  Kickin’ my own booty.  There’s a 5K coming up at Thanksgiving – it’s called the ‘Turkey Trot’  (no snickering).  I kind of want to see if I can do it… probably not, but it’s a goal.  And there’s my New Year’s deadline to aim for, too… so…

  Yeah.  This is going to be really good!

  • 12:10 pm
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