March 28, 2012

• Our Adventures: Mid-week Superhero Fiasco

  Last night was an unusual mid-week adventure.  We had been looking forward to it for over a month.  It was the Superhero Event at our favorite library.  It’s not actually *our* library (we’re considered out of district), but because of the library cooperative here in West Michigan, I can access all books, A/V, events, and more from anywhere around – as long as the library name is on the back of my card (re: in the co-op).

  When I saw that several of the libraries were having (on different days, of course) a superhero party, we were GEEKED.  Y’see, my kids run around in superhero costumes all week long.  There’s a Superman, Spidey, Iron man, Thor, Dash Incredible, War Machine (Iron Man’s best friend/counterpart), and more.  I have this giant tub of costumes and… well, they’re SERIOUSLY used.  So the opportunity to not just dress up but wear them out to an event?!?!  Too kewl!!  I read them the description:  Be a superhero!  Wear your favorite costume and come down to the library for stories, games, crafts, and more!  Doesn’t that sound great!?

  Of course, costuming Lydia was more difficult.  We ended up buying her a Supergirl costume off e-Bay, complete with boot covers that went up her calves.  We had to borrow a few costume pieces from my mom (our spidey mask has runs – like a lady gets on her nylons? – all down the face, for example).  But we spent several weeks gathering pieces so we’d be all set for the superhero event!

  And last minute?  I wanted to play, too.  Even though… okay, I’m a MOM, and it’s technically for the kids, but why not?  You’re only young old once!!  So Lydia helped me make little ears on a headband and I was Catwoman… who is technically a villain, but everyone knows parents are the bad guys, so it was okay.  And fun!  What other kids’ mom would be crazy enough to dress up as a superhero/villian?

  I think the more appropriate question would be ‘what other KID would dress up as a superhero/villian‘?  Because… well… let me back up.  We got to town – all in costume – and everyone is geekin’.  I wanted to stop and get landscape fabric for my latest brainstorm, and so we all went in Menards and put a smile on the garden center’s check out lady.  Then we went to supper at Burger King and thrilled the workers (and the customers got a kick out of us, too).  THEN we went to the library, where I had the kids pose for this:

  
  Okay, Baby O isn’t in it, but he’s in the one above.
  As you can see, they’re pumped and ready to get in there!
  

  
  So we get inside, and there’s this *tiny* semi-circle of seats for parents, and a little circle on the carpet for the kids… MOST of which are NOT in costumes.  In fact, there was a Tinkerbell, a Buzz Lightyear, a fuzzy pink/white bunny, and a kid with a Transformer helmet… but there weren’t any SUPERHERO costumes.  I’m… a little surprised.  And the librarian is a little surprised to see all of us.  Well, my family *is* kind of a platoon of its own.  We sit down, and the children’s library announces that she’s so surprised to see that many people come to the… weekly Tuesday night story time.  Um… no.  This is not the regular Tuesday night story time, because it’s listed as an EVENT on the website calendar, co-op wide.  There’s also a poster in the foyer announcing it as a special event.  So already my little warning light is going off.

  Then even MORE people arrive, one Mr. Incredible in a family of three kids, a family with one boy wearing a batman t-shirt and then a bunch of kids not dressed up at all.  Oh, and the district library photographer.  For a ‘regular story time’.  Riiiiiight.

  So the librarian has three books, but decides there’s NO way she’s going to have time for all of them (one of which looks like a ballerina book… um, SUPERHEROES?!), so she reads one about a kid who lost his superhero red underpants.  And we’re encouraged to shout the word “UNDERPANTS” at the end of every page.  WoW, yeah, that’s classy.  Perfect for ages 1-5 storytime, but for the 5-12 event crowd?  Not so much.

  Then she points out two tables, shoved together, that are the ‘craft area’.  On one end, are paper capes you can color with markers and stick on with electrical tape.  On the other end are Wonder Woman tiaras you can color.  In the middle are toilet paper rolls you can cut and make into wrist bands with the aforementioned electrical tape.  Over there in the windowsill are some paper bags for you to stick your hand in and guess what’s in them by super-touch.  On this little round table (that comes up to my ankle) over there are five pictures of things blown up big, and you can use your super-sight to figure out what they are.  On the floor over there is more paper, you can super-jump and see how far you can go (of course it was ripped to shreds after the first jump, as the kid with tennis shoes slides in).  And here’s a jar – see if you can open it with your super-strength (except the first little girl opened it and poured out all the glitter and made off with the lid, so that was the end of that, before it even began… and OI, the mess).

  None of the stations were manned, there wasn’t room at the craft table for anyone, the window sill barely held the paper bags, and half the stations were already out of commission… so we ended up just leaving.  But not before the photographer (and library lady) took half a dozen pictures of my kids, since they were really the only ones there in superhero costumes.

  I kinda oopsed and commented to Brian on the way out that that sucked (and we happened to be passing the librarian at the check-out counter as I said it – she shot me a dirty look), but hello!  It sucked!  I don’t understand the ‘self-directed stations’ thing.  Is that a new school technique?  Go where you want and do what you will, because we don’t want to put ourselves out?  I don’t get that.  It’s lazy, uninviting, and stOOpid.  Half-assery.  What would happen if I set up math, grammar, history, and poetry ‘stations’ in our homeschool and told my kids to just go and do?  It’d be a MESS… and nothing would go well.  Which is exactly what happened, here. 

  And yes, I’ve got better ideas:

  Instead of a paper on the floor that you jump on (and immediately rip up)… what if she’d used that electrical tape and laid down a long line, marking every foot, and had the kids line up and jump, and have a prize/bookmark/candy for anyone jumping past the star, or the red mark?  Have another length of tape on the wall, and whoever could shrink down lowest while still on their feet got a prize, as well as the highest jumper?  Kids would eat that stuff up!  They love to line up and play games… but there weren’t any.  What if she’d called five kids up and had them stick their hands in the bags and see if they could figure it out?  Then do the same with the five blown-up pictures and five more kids?  Instead of splitting us up to individually visit stations, she ‘hosted’ the different things like they were actually events?  Had kids cheer each other on and such?  Had a dad in the audience tighten that lid, and let each child show their strength in getting it off?  Play it up, a little… y’know what I mean?  Instead of having them make wrist bands, get silver/gold star stickers and make bracelets and have a ‘shoe toss’ – the kids throwing their bracelets in the pile and having to find them before the time was up?  THAT would be fun, hello!  Not struggling with baby scissors to cut toilet paper rolls and wrangle electrical tape around them.

  I don’t know… maybe I grew up in a different era.  Maybe I just look at things a different way.  But wOw.  It was completely… divisive?  Independent study?  I don’t know the word I’m searching for to convey what is it I didn’t like.  And of course there are always the two little boys who are complete jerks… and nobody willing to say, “Hey – calm down, there, buddy.”  Which – unchecked – adds a lovely sour note to the event.

  And it’s not just this event, either.  We went to a ‘Fantasy Creature’ event, which consisted of four tables set up as ‘stations’ where you could make a paper bag elf, a popsicle stick fairy wand, a pipe cleaner fairy bracelet, and a clothespin fairy.  Apparently elves and fairies are the only mythical creatures in existence, and there wasn’t a library person to be found, and they didn’t even bother with a story at that one!  It’s like going to a fair without anyone manning the booths!  I… just don’t understand it.  When they could hand out pre-made paper bag puppets of fairies and goblins and dragons and elves and mermaids and trolls and have the kids participate in some fantasy story, and then have a pin the horn on the unicorn game with all the kids, and maybe have them do a Centaur sack race, where the front person is blindfolded and the person bend over behind them (their ‘back legs’) have to steer them to the finish line.  I mean, there are a LOT of fun ideas… not just ‘go here, read this, do what it says, move on’.  It blows.  Is it a lack of imagination?  I just don’t know.

  The Egyptian one last year was more of the same – tables with ‘stations’ to build a pyramid, or color a collar, or write hieroglyphics, or make a paper crown.  At least that one had space between the tables and diversity in activities.  But even then, there was one lady, and she couldn’t handle it alone.  Where are these teen volunteers the library always says they want to involve?  Bring ‘em in, for Pete’s sake!  I just… know things could be done better. WAY better.  And these librarians are supposed to be the sha-bang because they’ve a degree… heck, my MOTHER could do better (and has) and she never stepped foot on a college campus!

  We picked up ‘Green Lantern’ on our way out the library for a superhero movie (yes, we got home THAT early – the event lasted 18 minutes).  We drove 40 minutes for that.  But we hadda turn off the movie – “Green Lantern” should be rated ‘R’, IMHO, fyi.  I don’t believe these ratings anymore.  The people who make them up are on crack, I swear it.  And yet ANOTHER hero who’s really a know-it-all jackass who doesn’t deserve the honor/power given to him, his belligerence a poor example for kids everywhere.  BAH!
  
  On the upside?  We got to dress up.  We got to go out!  We got to wow the cashier at Menards and the server at Burger King.  We got to get our pictures taken.  I got my landscape fabric.  AND we picked up some papers with squares on them that are to draw your own comic, so we’ve made copies and the kids are busy this morning working on their comic strips.  So some good came out of it. 

  But… yeesh.  That whole debacle called for a vent!
  

  • 11:45 am
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