April 8, 2013
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Confession
I don’t want to blog for you. That’s not why I opened this site. It happens – every so often – that it moves in that direction… that I start ‘talking to you’ instead of blogging for me, and when it does? I start to feel like I owe you something. And I don’t like that. I’m not obligated to you for anything. I don’t have to meet any demand you might think you have on me.
When I get to the point where it feels like the blogging is for you and not for me, I start to feel like I have to put something up here to be spiritual, to edify. And the truth? If I’m not being spoken to, if I’m in a ‘quiet’ period, I don’t want to feel like I have to put out some fake faith bull-crap to make anyone happy. If I’m being led to ‘be still’ for a spell, I don’t want to feel like I have to come here and put in some filler to appease people. I just (frankly) want to ‘be still’. And honestly, I’m going into a ‘be still’ period.Does that mean I’m not going to write? Heck no – I write, that’s what I do. But maybe I want to write for me, and not for you. Maybe it’s time to ground myself, remind myself of the purpose of writing here, to center everything, again.
I hate fake people. I’m NOT going to be fake. If I don’t feel like waxing eloquent, then damn it, I’m not going to. If I’m not getting edified or given anything to share, I’m not going to pull something out of my hiney to keep up an appearance. It’s not how it goes, here. And it seems that point should be made clear, right now. And there it is.
